Fear...

This is probably my most polarizing emotion. I'm not talking everyday, run-of-the-mill fear such as hoping you don't get hit by a bus or watching the Knicks. I'm talking true blue fear of everything I know coming down around my feet. The fear of total loss of control. I've been dealing with this fear for quite some time. Years, in fact. No, it's not related to the now 'official' recession. No, I'm not talking about family. You can't control family. If you think you can, then you're fooling yourself. I'm talking about the one thing you can control. Yourself.

There are times when my mind gets so wrapped up in one thing, I feel - and it has happned on occasion - that I'm losing control over other parts of my mind. No, not I'm not going crazy. I'm talking concentration. There are times when I feel that life, in general, just may be too much. Too much bad news (heck, too much news period). Too many empty bank accounts. Too many bill collectors. Too many home owner issues. Too many extended family problems. Too many plans that I feel NEED to get done. Too many movies to catch up on. Too many whatever!!

I've been living in the past recently. Just out of control. Listening to 80's music. Catching up on old friends and acquaintences. Wondering what it would've been like had I done this or that. Or had I not done this or that. So forth and so on... This isn't a bad thing, per se...as it's been quite fun. The problem is I'm finding it hard to re-join the now as the now just isn't fun. Well, that is...no where near as fun as then. Hindsight being 20/20 and all that...

I am realizing though that I AM in control of myself and will be able to re-join the now eventually. Getting it out in this blog is probably a step. Ya know...like quiting cigarettes. Regardless, Bigg Russ IS here and Bigg Russ will continue until he's called home. Until that day, I hope to have regained full control. Before that though, I will need to get over this fear and deal with the deeper issues. I wish I had a hand book though. This stuff is tiring!

Thanks for reading...

Bigg Russ

I'm only going to say this ONCE (this week)!!

I'll keep this short and simple: HIP HOP, as I know it, is NOT dead.  Here's proof.

Q-Tip, EPMD, Naughty By Nature, Public Enemy, Charles Hamilton, Big Daddy Kane, The Roots, Kanye West, Common, Nas, Jay-Z, Lupe Fiasco, Blu, Nicolay & Kay, Ludacris, Outkast, Busta Rhymes, Talib, Evidence, Mos Def, Sean Price, EMC, KRS-One, Rakim, DJ Jazzy Jeff, DJ Premier, MCLyte, Black Milk, Little Brother, 9th Wonder, Illa J., De La Soul, Dead Prez, Tonedeff, Jadakiss, Wu-Tang, The Harlem James Gang, Eminem, Redman, K'Naan, 88-Keys, Bishop Lamont, Mike Phillips, The Pharcyde, Souls of Mischief, Cypress Hill, The Cool Kids, Gym Class Heroes, Kidz in the Hall, Wyclef, Royce Da 5'9, Large Professor, PETE ROCK, Heavy D., C.L. Smooth, Black Violin, D-Nice, Willy Northpole, DJ Honda, Jean Grae, Black Spade, Erykah Badu, LL Cool J., DJ Mick Boogie, Buckshot, MF Doom, etc...

This is a list of artists who have performed recently or have shows scheduled and/or released full length albums or mixtapes.  Some of them are also involved in Hip Hop in other artisticcapacities (film, photography, art, books).

Seriously, if Hip Hop is dead...then I must be heaven.

As always, thanks for taking the time...

Bigg Russ

hiphopsince71@gmail.com