This is what I've been thinking:
- Am I the only one not surprised to hear about a male flight attendant exiting his job... sliding down some rubber... through the back door?
- And Montana Fishburne's daughter... Please. So NOW it's news that a Hollywood famous so-and-so's daughter decides to screw on camera? Sure, I get the fact that it's Morpheus' offspring and all (I was gonna type Furious Styles' offspring ... but didn't want to lose half of you) but it's not really news. The real news here is that she wants to pattern herself after Kim Kardasian. I hate to break it to Female Fishburne but K.K. (the sexy one) isn't really a porn star per se. She's an opportunist. (Albeit, not as opportunistic as Ray J ... but hey, when you're that untalented you gotta make up for it somehow.) F.F. (the one who's not keeping it on the downlow) should do her homework. Can she at least show love for a REAL porn star like Vanessa Del Rio, Angel Kelly or Tera Patrick? Where's the respect?!
- A-Rod hit his 600th homerun. So what? And I'm a Yankee fan. Yeah, I shouted it out on my Facebook status and all that... but let's be honest. Baseball is tainted. Kinda like F.F. There's no going back. Mind you, that's not to say that A-Rod's accomoplishments aren't grand in scale. I'm just sayin'... shoot me up witht the same enhancement drugs he used and I probably couldn't hit the ball to center field (LOL @ probably). 'Roids don't make you the Hulk, they enhance your natural ability. Still... sucks to know it'll forever be seen as 600*. The ONLY homerun dude we should pay attention to from this point on isn't in the MLB yet. Believe that.
- Guiliani's daughter getting arrested for shoplifting. Nothing newsworthy here either. A Guiliani committing a crime?! Fruit. Tree. Something like that. Sephora gets no props for not teaching her spoiled ass a lesson either.
- Isiah Thomas gets re-hired by the Knicks ... then turns the job down. That's not news. The news is that something actually GOOD happened for the Knicks. It won't help them get wins but at least they're just that much less a group of laughing stocks.
- On a more personal note, someone just told me they didn't know Tyler Perry was gay. NOT knowing Tyler Perry is gay IS news. I should've called Fox.
- 700 people are dead and 1000 missing in China. That's not news. Whenever anything happens in China, a massive amount of people die. No disrespect meant to those dead or missing and the families and friends of them all ... but real news would've been had they said, "This just in... 5 people have died from [INSERT RANDOM EARTH-BORN UPHEAVAL HERE]! This ISN'T the worst disaster to hit this country in decades..."
- Google offices raided by Korean police. KOREA. I'm shocked they let Google in there to begin with.
I think I might need to start thinking less.
Thanks for reading.