God, please send these people back to us!!

People die. Every last one of 'em. There are some, however, that I feel that God needs to send back. God needs to send these people back for a purpose. No, I'm not talking reincarnation. I'm talking send these people back to their SAME lives, not a new one some time in the future. They need to return to their old bodies with their old ways! They need to come and save their family, their friends and their colleagues from self-implosion!

Allow me to go deeper...

Donda West:

Kanye. 'Nuff said.

Earl Woods:

Let's face it. Tiger's human. He's not Black, he's not White, he's not Thai... Hell...he's a whole 'nother race altogether! That doesn't mean he's got it all together though! When Mr. Earl Woods, Tiger's daddy, was alive, Tiger would never have messed up his ... ESCALADE like that!! Shame on you, Tiger! At least your keeping some people at Cadillac employed.

Christopher "The Notorious B.I.G. aka Biggie Smalls aka Frank White aka Big Poppa" Wallace:

Please. Sean Combs is so messed up over Biggie's demise that he renames himself every 8 months and 21 days. Biggie's untimely death not only caused Diddy grief, it messed up the careers of (*ahem*) artists that he's never even met! How many bands is Puffy gonna make? How many more (*ahem*) singers and rappers will have to deal with a man more intent on making HIMSELF more famous than he already is and the artists he signs?! Anyone seen Red Cafe lately? Yeah ... didn't think so. Biggie needs to return from the dead to make Puff Daddy whole again.

Kurt Cobain:

Dude, your widow is effin' nuts. We need you here to rein in her crazy ass. Ask the Man above for at least a 10-day pass.

Michael "The World's Greatest Entertainer" Jackson:

Honestly, God needs to send Michael back for all of us. At least we had someone to talk about. But specifically, Michael needs to come back and explain to us how Jermaine gets his hair like that! What exactly IS that style and where does he buy his products?!

Again, God, we need answers and solutions down here. Please send these good people back so that the planets will align properly once again.

Next up: People who should've stayed married. :)

As usual, thanks for reading!

Bigg Russ