Never fear...Pete Ross is here!!

The problem is, he's not here to save the day. He's here to show the world how much of an ass he can truly be. For three or four seasons on Smallville, Pete Ross was THE best friend a man of steel could have. He lied. He created diversions. He committed crimes and got arrested for them. He accidentally and self-irradiated himself with meteor rock. Heck, he even died a couple of times if I recall correctly. Even if he didn't, I know I died more than once watching him bumble and fall his way through one of my favorite popcorn TV series of all time. He did all that for the (seemingly but not really) last son of Krypton and all he got for it was a butt-whuppin' and one way ticket out of Kansas.

After all he had done for Clark, Pete ended up hating himself for knowing Clark's secret. Some would call it jealousy. Others, envy. I just think deep down he wished he had never met Mr. Universe in the first place. He only hung out with Clark to get to Chloe anyway (oh, I remember that pilot episode very well, thank you very much). Not only was he 3 feet high and non-rising, he couldn't break that interracial wall of weird for all the meteor rock in the world.

Initially, I felt bad for young Ross. He was the object of a broken home but his mom was positive and tried hard to keep him out of trouble. She even became a judge or something unbelievable with regards to his storyline. I even demanded that the writers show him some respect. Mainly 'cause he was an Afro-Ameri...uhhh...Negro...uhh...Bla....you know, a colored fella trying to survive among aliens (I'm talking about the people of Kansas, not the Kryptonians). As the seasons rolled on though, I began to realize something. Pete Ross was an ass. Like, no really...an ass. How do you call the most powerful being in the world best friend and all you can think about is Chloe and acting a fool and living in his shadow? Dude, you're 3 feet. You live in most people's shadows. I didn't like the way Pete was dismissed from the show though so I've always wished for his return. But of course, you must always, always, ALWAYS watch what you wish for...'cause you just may get it.

Imagine how I felt this week after learning that Pete was actually returning for ONE WHOLE SHOW?! I mean, can it be?! Did he change? Did he conquer his mental inadequacies? Did he grow? To all of that, I sadly say no. Not only did Pete not learn from his former ways, he actually go worse. In this episode, he gets infected yet again by Kryptonite. In an over the top Stride gum advertisement, Pete chews some meteor rock-laced chewing gum and becomes Blastic Man with the ability to stretch a la The Elongated Man. Long story short, Pete ends up running around Smallville talking about how the world needs to know about his powers and in the process making the world safer for meteor freaks yadda, yadda, yadda. Three years gone and Clark ends up saving his corny ass...AGAIN.

Pete gets beat up. Again. Pete admits to being envious of Clark. Again. Pete apologizes for acting stupid. Again. Pete flirts with Chloe. Again. *Yawn* Then...vanishes! Bops off into the sunset as if he had something better to do. Riiiiight. I'd let Pete slide this time as it's good to see some consistencies in life. But he failed one test. He showcased his powers to Chloe by reaching across a room and grabbing a rose from a vase. I don't know about you, but if I felt for Chloe the way Pete felt for Chloe, I know how I would've showcased my talents to her if I could stretch like that.